There are a handful of dates that stick out in my mind, and June 2nd is one of them.
Yesterday at the hospital the nurse wrote June 1 on a piece of paper. I was shocked and said to her “is it June 1st already?!” June 1st was the day I left Zambia after living there for 2 years, and June 2nd was the day I returned home.
I had spent the majority of my 20’s being in school, and travelling a ton. I LOVED seeing different parts of the world. Exploring was and still is my favourite thing. It doesn’t need to be anything fancy – as long as it was somewhere different and new, I was game for trying new foods, seeing new places and meeting new friends. Nearing the end of my time in Zambia, I really felt the Lord preparing me for this chapter in my life to close. Not in a dramatic way – I didn’t make a big deal of it – but I was going home, and I was finally at peace with just staying home and investing in my time there. I have always been one to look at and dream about what’s next – and that usually involved where I would want to travel to next. But God really prepared my heart and even though it’s hard to explain, I was so at peace with the current chapter in my life coming to a close, even though I knew it wouldn’t involve travel (for a little while anyways).
On June 2nd 2017, Lawren picked me up from the airport and we hit the ground running. I was so thankful for my time away in a place I loved, surrounded by people I loved; and I was so thankful to be returning home to a place I loved, and surrounded by people I loved. I knew Lawren and I were headed in the direction of marriage (we ended up getting engaged 28 days later) but who knew the rest. I imagined we’d get married and have babies – life would be simple and sweet.
Last year, on June 2nd, I posted this on Facebook:
It popped up in my memories today (by the way – those Facebook memories get me all the time – anyone else? 😭). What stuck out to me was the last part
“God is faithful. He provided for me then, has provided for me now, and will continue to be faithful. My job: to trust Him”
Those words were so hard for me to read this morning. I automatically thought to myself – Ha! Life was so easy then. It wasn’t even really that hard for me to trust. But now it is.
Where am I on June 2nd, a year after I wrote that? At home, on the couch, with a sleeping babe lying on me who is recovering from surgery. A simple eye surgery turned into her needing a tube stuck down her throat so they could assess her airways. Thankfully they found nothing, but this poor little babe is so raspy and having trouble breathing as her throat heals – so she is laying upright so I can help her when she starts having a coughing fit.
Our journey with Hope has been the craziest adventure I have been on. It’s not easy to trust God when things are completely different than you had imagined your life would look like – but if it was easy, would I feel the need to trust Him? Probably not.
This little lady has already taught and shown me that I need to rely on God more than I have ever imagined possible. Trusting in Him has taken on a whole new meaning, on a whole new level.
My mind often drifts back to my days in Zambia. I want to be in the hot sun, with my cute little friends in Chongwe hearing them say “hallo auntie!” But you know what? While I was there my mind would drift to being home in Canada. One of the biggest lessons I learned while I was there was taking the words of Jim Elliot to heart:
Wherever you are, be all there.
So I choose to trust God and put those hard words into practice. Whether I’m driving down a dirt road, and buying avocados the size of my head at the market, or cuddling a sick little baby in a hospital room, with His help I will remember to be content and to be all there.